Tuesday, December 30, 2003
I can't blog that often anymore because my eyes are getting worse. If this continues I shall have to go to the hospital again. Sigh. But what's the use? The doctors don't know what's wrong either.
|| 7:03 PM ||
Monday, December 29, 2003
I don't want to eat. I don't want to drink. I don't want to sleep. I don't want to live. But I don't want to die either. Something's wrong with me today.
Too detached.
These thoughts are making me sad. So sad. Swirling and swirling around my mind. Some of them dwell here on earth, others extend to the sky and beyond the stars. Swirling and swirling, never understanding.
I need to sit here in spite of my uncomfort, gazing at the artificial blue sky. Hearing the crows caw. They are all I can hear for now. The words coming out of your mouth are but a blur. Everything's a blur. The cars humming past. The warm breeze. In the stifling heat of the afternoon I felt cold.
|| 4:19 PM ||
Friday, December 26, 2003
"I've been waiting in the dark for a long
time, shining my beacon of hope through the
shadow. If you see me, don't you hide your
eyes from me."
The White Rose is associated with purity, honor,
and chastity. It is governed by the goddess
Artemis and its sign is The Cross, or Agape.
As a White Rose, you are a person of your word.
You may have a strong moral code, but
regardless of your virtue, you always stay true
to yourself. To you, love is the most pure of
emotional forms and it's just a matter of
waiting for it to bless you. Some people may
say you are too idealistic, but it's only
because you don't want to mess things up.
What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To? brought to you by Quizilla
|| 10:30 AM ||
Thursday, December 25, 2003
The revolver felt smooth and hard in my hands. I locked my arms, which were trembling under its weight, and placed one hand under the gun, one hand on the trigger. Squinting my eyes I aimed at the target and fired. The bullet shot out of the gun with a deafening bang, and my arms twitched violently upwards due to the impact of the shot. My heart skipped a beat. So this was how it was like. Lowering the gun, I concentrated on the target and fired again.
Sadly, for all six tries, I missed the target. My brother shot one down on his second try though. We were at Coral Island, a boat ride from Thailand, and visited the shooting range. Since I would never be able to hold a real gun again in Singapore, I decided to give it a shot (pun intended). Haha, that was lame.
Anyway, I had a really great time in Thailand, enjoying the Suan Lum Night Market and Coral Island most. The speed boat ride was so fantastic that I was totally silent, just feeling the wind on my cheeks, breezing through my hair, feeling the boat bump against the waves in the water. Then, Dan er got worried for me, so I had to start speaking again. The boat ride made me think, that if I ever was to die, I wanted to die in the sea. Of course, I took back that thought later. No, drowning's not that great afterall.
On one of the water activities, I sat on a circular inflatable which was pulled by a speed boat. It was really fun, despite the freezing wind - it was about 20 degrees that day. I really regret though, not trying paragliding, where you hang from a parachute while a speedboat zooms around. And also not learning how to swim properly, so I could not take part in all the deep-sea activities. But I still had a great time frolicking in the sand and waves. That was before I received the email about larva in sand which sticks itself in your skin, resulting in boils which are actually worms growing inside your skin. *shivers* And I buried myself in it! Erm, the sand I mean. Anyway, I'm still alive now so blah, who cares!
|| 10:54 PM ||
Sunday, December 21, 2003
Missing you. A passing dream which I can never wake up from. Perfect. Intangible. Only one word was spoken between us. One forbidden glance in which our eyes met. Kept in sweet remembrance, for we will never meet again.
|| 9:47 PM ||
Friday, December 12, 2003
I had a really strange dream last night. It was not scary to me when I was in it, but when I woke up I felt that I
ought to feel freaked out.
I was the Egyptian High Priestess of Philae.
|| 9:56 PM ||
Thursday, December 11, 2003
Love me if you dare - I really want to watch it! But sadly, *screams* IT'S NC-16!!! It doesn't make much difference does it? Seeing that I'm turning 16 in three months. Sweet 16. O-levels. x_x Anyway... I mean, it's not like I'm going to suddenly turn all old and wise overnight. Urgh.
Does anyone know where I can get Daria comics? Or is there even such a thing?
Dan er hasn't bought her luggage yet!!! She called me last night, begging me to go to find one with her today. I can't wait to go to Thailand - I'll be back on the 20th Dec.
I shouldn't have played in the rain. I went to West Coast park with my family, where upon reaching, it started to pour. A huge thunderstorm. But my siblings and I still ran and cycled around the park, while my parents took shelter under a pavilion. And when I got home, I became a little feverish. My cheeks were flushed and my lips were really pink. Just like how I looked after I drank that delicious French red wine - what's its name again? - Bordeaux Superieur...mmm... Back to the point, yeah, and I started to run a temperature and everything, but I'm quite alright now.
|| 8:50 PM ||
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.
What Type of Soul Do You Have ? brought to you by Quizilla
|| 7:52 PM ||
Saturday, December 06, 2003
Back from ice-skating. It was one of my "bad" days at at the rink, seeing that I fell painfully three times due to the inconsideration of other skaters. First two times was caused by the same eleven year-old boy, wearing a disgusting green jacket, who caused me to trip using the metal bar thingy when I was going backwards and could not see what was behind me. The third time was by this fat old man who was standing behind me as I was going backwards (again). He said "Excuse me" and gave me a little shove on the back. And when I fell he just stood there stupidly doing nothing. Simply maddening.
On a lighter note, I learnt the Backward Crossover today. That's why I've been going backwards a lot (literally). I can't get it yet, but thankfully it's not in my test next Saturday. I have to pass. Now all I need to do is try to actually stop doing the Snowplough Stop, and brush up on my Forward Swizzle and Crossover.
And that guy I mentioned last week, he only came onto the ice after my lesson, and I exchanged a few stony glances with him, concentrating hard on my practice. But he made me grin at him again, when he brushed past me, arms raised in a comical position. Hee.
|| 5:59 PM ||
Friday, December 05, 2003
Yay, my computer's working again!
I went to Queensway with Dan er and Yingjun today, to help Dan er find a pair of trackshoes. It was rather boring actually, as all the shops sold the same things. And our dear
extremely fussy Dan er went from shop to shop trying and trying various pairs of shoes. But one was "too thin", another "too fat", "too many markings" etc. At the end of three hours and two rounds through all the shops, she was still unsatisfied with any of the shoes. So we went to Mac's to have lunch, Yingjun and I sneaking off to explore a quaint little shop selling costume jewellery tucked away in a corner. Well, by the time we got back to Dan er, she had finally decided on a pair of white Nike shoes, with a single blue line streaking across each side of the shoes.
|| 9:55 PM ||
Monday, December 01, 2003
I'm absolutely beat.
Today I learnt how to do backward stroking. It's hard. I also almost failed my test because I could not do the one-foot glide and move straight at the same time. Oh well. There's always next week.
I must write about last Friday, when I went to Orchard with Yingjun. I saw a lady who was simply beautiful. The only other girl I've ever seen who was that pretty was a Chinese-American at Isetan Wisma Atria. And she was only pretty. Not beautiful, like the lady I saw at Surfbabe. She bore a striking resemblence to Fann Wong, only she was shorter in height. Beautiful bangs and wondrously fair skin and such starry eyes.
That was also the day I bought my first shirt from Topshop. It's a plain black, three-quarter sleeved top and about 4 sizes too big, but I fell in love with it the moment I set my eyes on the lovely piece of fabric.
|| 5:47 AM ||